Relationships: Blessing or Plague? A Writer's Opinion

Ah! Young love. Romance and bliss hovers in the air, spreading a warm and fuzzy feeling through all those caught up in the magic. Doesn’t it make you happy to see young couples walking down the road holding hands, or just sitting somewhere without saying a word, only resting their heads against each other? Oh, it is a magical sight, it is.

But while it may be intoxicating for some people, at the same time, it is equally disturbing and nauseous for those around them. I liken it to smoking- it gives a kick to the smoker but to the people around him, it turns them into passive smokers- which is a lot deadlier than actually smoking a cigarette because you end up inhaling the toxins released. The same way, a couple who has no idea how to manage a relationship or turns it into something sickening- the “aw, sweet!” is going to turn to “oh, gross!”.

I make it sound like I am an anti-romantic. I assure you… I am not. I simply have a deep loathing for all couples and people who turn something as beautiful and cool as a relationship into something I now avoid like the plague. Why? Simply because I have no desire to fall into that trap into which others have fallen into. I call it: “The Pit of Irritability, Nausea, Boredom and Icky Where Couples Are No Longer Cool”.

Perhaps I’m being harsh (honestly? I don’t feel anything of the sort!). But perhaps my reasons for being so anti-relationships is simply because of how it affects an existing friendship before the boyfriend/girlfriend came in. That, among other reasons.

Have you ever been in that situation? You, the single one, is hanging out with your friend and his girlfriend. Slowly, little by little, the conversation between the three of you dies and becomes focused on the couple, thereby alienating the single person- you! And when I say alienated, I mean it literally- you feel like a complete stranger lost in some unknown place. It gets even better when they start to completely ignore you and start talking about what to do for their relationship.

I kid you not, this happens very frequently! It has the potential to drive any single person crazy, so much so that you feel like putting a drill through your ears just to be rid of them… permanently. What else will you be free from? Oh yes, the nauseating depression that follows them whenever the other person is not around, the inability to conduct their own meaningful lives without the other person present, and the idea that they don’t seem to want your company when their boyfriend/girlfriend is present.

A word of advice to all those affected by what I like to call ‘Not-cool-couples Syndrome’: find new single friends or hang out with couples who won’t treat you like you’re garbage or invisible (you know this is happening when the couple starts to ignore you and dote on their partner- this is a sign that they have retreated into their little couple-y world). I’m not saying to dump the old friends- instead, surround yourself with people you can keep company with when the ‘Not-cool-couple Syndrome’ kicks in.

And a word of advice to all couples who do the above (guilty parties- stop protesting!): don’t do this. It isn’t nice to treat your friends like that especially when you are all socializing as a group. Why? Frankly, it puts you on to the top of the ‘People You DEFINITELY Do NOT Want To Be With’ list. And, it’s very rude. And it brands you as an ‘icky couple’. When I say ‘icky’, I’m talking about how you can’t keep your hands off each other and can’t stop making out every two minutes. Please- get a room. Or better yet, ask us to leave so that we do not have to be traumatized or damaged with such a sight.