RETURN TO THE WORLD OF BLOGGING AND THE END OF DEXTER

It's been 3 months since I last wrote something. What gives?

Two words: Dexter series finale. Okay, three words. 

*SPOILERS FOLLOW*

 

I latched onto Dexter relatively late into the game- five years late, to be precise. By the time I caught up, the sixth season had already started rolling, which means I was in the current loop for the last three seasons.

Three seasons which, to be honest, felt like an extended epilogue to a series that could have easily ended with the fifth season. In other words: seasons six, seven and eight were pretty mediocre.

Okay, that's a little harsh. The seventh season in particular picked up the bad taste left behind by the largely forgettable sixth season save for the long overdue reveal of the real Dexter to his sister. 

But the final season... oh the final season. It is unfathomable to understand how the writers could have possibly squandered and butchered the last adventures of the eponymous Dexter Morgan. By the time the series finale ended, it wasn't so much a "WTF?!" reaction as an "Oh well" one. Save for that particular scene (I shan't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet) towards the end with probably the best music the show has ever drummed up in its eight-year run, the last one hour of Dexter was an empty reminder of a taut compelling show it was once upon a time. 

Where did it go wrong?

* Again- SPOILERS TO FOLLOW! Stop reading if you haven't watched the final season *

Firstly: the writers treated the characters with way too much disrespect and tossed their sensibility right through the window- nay! it SMASHED THE GLASS AND FLEW WAY OUT OF ORBIT! For a show about a serial killer who had to keep making smart decisions to not get caught, the people in it are so oblivious that if real, I'd demand they be fired from the Miami Metro for such incompetence.

Secondly: there didn't seem to be any proper direction in which this season was heading. They kept making half-assed decisions and whenever something was getting interesting (Dexter getting a protege, Cassie, the tension between Dex and Deb), they'd completely smash it aside for something mundane.

Thirdly: they took a bunch of interesting ideas and executed them terribly and played it safe. Somebody should have hired George R. R. Martin to teach them about how in a good story, nobody- ESPECIALLY the hero- should be exempt from death.

By the time the credits rolled, I felt sad- for all the wrong reasons. That the one consistently great character met an utterly unworthy demise (no, not Dexter) at the hands of the worst villain on the show, that the most moving element of the episode was the score in arguably the only scene which elicited SOME emotion, that it was an overall sloppy season ever- it all snowballed into a series finale that was largely forgettable and one that many fans of Dexter would be happy to forget. 

Don't forget to check out: How The Final Season of Dexter Should Have Ended

In the aftermath of the third season in Game of Thrones...

Dear friend,

Another episode of Game of Thrones has ended and that makes it three seasons complete! It's almost hard to believe that the show has been on the air for three seasons. When Game of Thrones first started, I was still in school. Feels like a lifetime ago.

What's ironic is that though the first volume in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire saga hit bookshelves all the way back in 1996, at present there seems to be no end in sight (for the fans at least!). The latest book, A Dance With Dragons, was published in 2011 after a hiatus of 6 years following A Feast For Crows- and it's only the fifth installment in a series of seven planned books. While the author who works diligently alongside David Benioff and D.B. Weiss on the HBO series has confided in the showrunners major plot points should he pass away prior to finishing A Song of Fire and Ice, it isn't much of a comfort to the fans.Many of us, newcomers to the series and old, wish to get to the end of this massive story just the way George R. R. Martin sees it in his head before any misfortune befalls him!

Rumour has it that the TV show will run for seven seasons. Which is interesting because while it has been taking a 'one book per season' approach, season three is based on the first half of A Storm of Swords, the third book. Season four will complete covering that book and seasons five and six would no doubt cover A Feast for Crows and A Dance With Dragons (given that the events in both books take place around the same time, just through different viewpoints). That leaves the final season to cover the final two-planned books, The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring. Okay, let's say that it goes for eight seasons. That means Game of Thrones will end its long run five years from the time of writing this. 

And when it does, I will be twenty-four. Okay, that feels a little weird to consider given that I started watching the show when I was seventeen. 

I wonder how many more favourite characters will get killed in that time. Last week's episodes "The Rains of Castamere" stunned the fans who hadn't read the books with the Red Wedding. It makes you think how many unexpected twists George R. R. Martin has up his sleeve. Either way, we're in for a long night. Since 1996, winter is coming and it doesn't seem likely to pass over anytime soon.

Love always,

Dinesh

The Owl Magazine

The Owl Magazine website: http://theowlmagazine.com/

Dear Reader, 

There are moments that take place in your life that changes everything forever, especially when a dream you had more than two years ago finally materialises into reality instead of constantly being confined inside the mind as a mere thought. A magazine. Dedicated to topics like films, books, TV shows, comics and much much more. A magazine for people like me: geeks. Namely, a magazine I can call my own: The Owl Magazine.

Please take the time to browse through it, support it, contribute to it- and most importantly, keep coming back to it. I assure you, it will be time well spent. 

We publish our content every 30 days, usually towards the end of each month, so keep your eyes peeled during the final days of the month.

Love always,

Dinesh

The perks of being one of the first to read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

Dear friend, 

I remember the first time I read Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being A Wallflower. It was over three years ago on a quiet Sunday afternoon. Everyone at home was asleep and I was looking around for something to do when I stumbled across the book on my computer, having downloaded it a long time ago but never touched (if you're outraged that I download books, please remember: I live in Sri Lanka and access to books isn't that great, so I get them from the Net; to date, I've only come across a hard copy of the book once- just once). Having nothing better to do, I sat down and read the first page. Then the next page. And the next. Four hours later (I'm a fast reader), I had finished The Perks of Being A Wallflower and I knew that my life had somewhat been changed by the experience. 

I don't know what was it that made The Perks of Being a Wallflower different from most books of its genre. It had the trappings and workings of a generic coming-of-age story (set in the 90s) with a meek and introverted protagonist who falls in love with a beautiful girl out of his league... and yet, there was something undeniably charming about how Chbosky wrote it. Somehow, his characters felt real- real and flawed. The protagonist, an aspiring writer named Charlie, is a great friend. To quote a description of him by one main character: "You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand". That's why they call him 'a wallflower'.

Charlie's love and empathy for the few people in his life is tremendous; he is the kind of person who'd take a bullet for you without even hesitating. He always puts other people's concerns ahead of its own. It's his greatest strength... and also his greatest weakness. To quote another character: "You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love". 

Charlie isn't a saint, though: when he wants to break up with his girlfriend whom he doesn't like but doesn't know how to, he seizes his chance at a truth-or-dare game: when dared to "kiss the prettiest girl in the room on the lips". He kisses his friend and long-time crush, Sam. Needless to say, Sam wasn't the girlfriend. Not the nicest way to break up with someone.

Charlie's new best friend is an outgoing lively guy named Patrick. He happens to be gay. His step-sister is Sam. She has had a bit of a reputation in the past. They hang out with a stoner named Bob. Charlie's sister, Candace, has an abortion later in the story. Do you get what I'm saying? It's these little flaws that help add that third-dimension, one that make the characters stick in your mind long after you've closed the book. 

I'm rambling, though... see, I read this book all the way back in 2010. And I was certain that at the time, from the people I knew and the circles I ran in, I was probably the only one who'd read The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I would later recommend it to another friend who ended up loving it just as much as I did and then I was certain that we were the only two people from our friends who'd read this book. 

And there was something quite nice about it. The feeling of having read a book that others didn't. It didn't feel mainstream. It was like having a little secret all to yourself or maybe amongst the few people who would have been aware of its existence. It was a book, after all, that came out over a decade ago. 

Then came the news of the movie.

Just as with the book, I was one of the few people aware that such a movie was being made. Which is a little surprising given that Logan Lerman and Harry Potter-alum Emma Watson was starring as Charlie and Sam respectively. I remember the excited state I was in when they released the very first trailer for the film, somewhere around July 2012- it was just before I got ready for school. The rest of that day felt pretty brilliant after I watched it. 

And people were still pretty much in the unknown about it.

The movie released in the US and it was a quiet modest hit. Everyone went on with their lives. 

Then the DVD released in early 2013.

And all of a sudden, it was as if an asteroid had hit the planet! Every single person was talking about The Perks of Being a Wallflower! And they were raving about it and saying how good it was and how much they loved it! Quotes from the film started appearing all over Facebook, specially as status updates and captions for photographs- especially for women's ones. The most popular was "We accept the love we think we deserve".

Now, I should have been happy about its success and popularity. I mean, absolutely! Here I was, having spent nearly three years of my life trying to convince people about it and it finally paid off, didn't it?  

Except, I felt a little annoyed at the whole thing.

See, when I would quote Perks before, it felt cool that I was one of a very few around the world who knew about this book- and later, film. But when every Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally started quoting the film and remained seemingly ignorant about the book- naturally, I got a little riled. I was aghast! I kept telling them "Read the book, for the love of God! If you loved the movie, you'll love the book!". So much so that a friend of mine took to tagging me on Facebook whenever someone quoted Perks, just so that he could get this reaction out of me.

I've calmed down a lot, though, since that time. Probably because more people have finally taken to reading the book (and they loved it) but most likely because it's such a petty thing to fight over. But as the guy who knew about Perks before everyone else did, I believe I do have the right of acting like that.

I do miss the non-mainstream feeling of it all, I won't deny it. But given that The Perks of Being A Wallflower has now reached more people, I am happy for it. It deserves it. It should accept the love it think it deserves. Because it does deserve it.

And in this moment, I swear The Perks of Being a Wallflower is infinite.

Love always,

Dinesh

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON - Film review

RATING: 1/4

DIRECTED BY: Michael Bay

PRODUCED BY: Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Tom DeSanto, Don Murphy, Ian Bryce

SCREENPLAY BY: Ehren Kruger

BASED ON: Hasbro’s Transformers™ action figures

STARRING: Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, Ken Jeong, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand

Gone is the fun spirit of the first Transformers film! It has been substituted by flashy special effects that cannot hide the fact that Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a noisy meaningless affair with a soul more corroded than Ironhide’s (voiced by Jess Harnell) dead body.

It’s a film guilty of many faults but the biggest cardinal sin that Transformers: Dark of the Moon commits is that it takes itself too seriously. Hello?! Giant robotic aliens duking it out using Chicago as its battleground for the fate of the Earth is anything but serious!

Where to begin?

In its third time around, the Autobots have been working with NEST led by Lieutenant Colonol William Lennox (Josh Duhamel) in stopping conflicts around the world. On one particular mission, Autobot leader Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen) discovers an engine part from The Ark, a Cybertron spaceship that went missing during the final days of the war that ravaged the planet. Further investigation reveals that The Ark had landed on the moon during the 1960s— and to covertly investigate this event, President John F. Kennedy pushed to have the US put the first man on the moon. Basically, everything history ever taught is nothing but a lie. When the Autobots recover the Ark in the present, they discover an unconscious Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy), former leader of the Autobots.

Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) — twice responsible from saving Earth— is unable to find a job. He’s got a new girlfriend, too, a babe by the name of Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). Mikaela from the previous two films is no longer in Sam’s life. Once again, he gets caught up in the never-ending fight between Autobots and Decepticons, still led by a now-scarred Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving) when the Decepticons start killing people connected to the Russian and American space missions. To cut an unbearably long story short, the Decepticons create a wormhole with the plan to transport Earth through the Solar System to the remnants of Cybertron where they can use all the planet’s resources and labour to rebuild their home. I hope they realized that if they’re going to use human slaves, they’re going to have to provide a lot of oxygen tanks. A big battle ensures in the city of Chicago and… well, I think you can guess who wins.

There is nothing even remotely interesting to keep the attention engaged in this film. The Autobots are no longer the fun robots they were in Transformers; heck, the entire film isn’t as fun as the first Transformers. The battles are even more of a mess and visually incoherent— it’s nearly impossible to distinguish who is the Autobot and who is the Decepticon when these two robots engage in combat. The actors, clearly meant to provide the human aspect in a film dominated by the Transformers™, are better off being props. Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson shout out commands, shoot when needed and once in a while engage in a joke with their team members— nothing more. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was clearly chosen to be as eye-candy replacement since Megan Fox didn’t show up. Her absence is only noticeable by Rosie’s appearance and a weird accent she uses— if you closed your eyes and listened to her lines of dialogue which are mostly screams, you might not be able to tell the difference. Patrick Dempsey plays a slippery villain. John Turtorro is even more annoying than he was in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (though I liked him in the first film). Frances McDormand and John Malkovich are a woeful waste in their roles. As for Shia LeBeouf— his role as Sam Witwicky seems to possibly be that of outdoing his girlfriend in shouting and screaming. I’m willing to bet that Starscream (voiced by Charlie Adler) was personally hunting Sam down not because he thwarted the Decepticons twice but simply because he never shuts up!

The only thing I found even mildly entertaining— and I say ‘mildly’ because it is the tiniest consolation in this unforgivable mess— was Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime. He was a refreshing change as the Autobot with ambivalent agendas and possibly was the only character even given a little depth in his story arc; and of course, simply because Leonard Nimoy seems to make it work. When he kills Ironhide, I wasn’t upset at the death of an Autobot— I was more cheered by Sentinel Prime’s sudden and ruthless action. Clearly, that part alone speaks volumes about what was wrong with this film.

An argument can be made that the second half of 2012’s The Avengers was basically nothing more than a rip-off of Transformers: Dark of the Moon’s final act. And I don’t disagree. They both had giant wormholes opening in the sky above major cities and aliens and humans fighting; the difference is that The Avengers did it with style, wit and a considerable amount of grace. Transformers: Dark of the Moon did not possess even one-fourth of any of that; which is a laugh because those three elements were clearly present in 2007’s Transformers.

RETURN

Wow, it's been nearly half a year since I last logged on to the blog. And clearly, there have still been people coming and checking Holmes' Hideout in that period of dormancy.

To such faithful viewers: thank you for sticking around.

The reason I haven't accessed Holmes' Hideout until now is because the last post I made was nearly nine hours before I someone close and dear to me passed away. It was painful to come back to it because it reminded me of the hopeful mood I was in before I logged out of the blog and went to see my late grandfather in hospital, where the doctors said he was making recovery.

Life is funny, though; one time, everything is fine, the next it isn't.

But yet, I still couldn't keep entirely away.

A lot has been happening over the last half a year. Which I'm hoping means good news for Holmes' Hideout for 2013. I'm quite keen on doing more reviews and perhaps this time, just writing some of my own rants. I've never tried that out before.

Always gotta stay innovative, I guess.

Please stay tuned for more. There is a lot on the horizon and on the way, such as a new project of mine that is coming up. 

In the meantime, do check out a new guilty pleasure of mine on television, a show called "HANNIBAL". It sort of reminds me of a cross between BBC's SHERLOCK and DEXTER, with the style of the former and material of the latter.

Also- ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is returning for a fourth season next week after almost seven years!

May the Force be with you.

How To Write A Best-Selling Young Adult Novel

If you follow my 10 steps, you will easily be able to write a young-adult novel catered to meet the requirements of readers in the 21st century:

1) Create an uninteresting, meek female protagonist who's very insecure about themselves and co-dependent, not to mention complete helpless damsels-in-distress 24/7. 

NOTE: exceptions CAN be made but nobody gives a damn because three-dimensional characters are alien to this genre! 


2) Create a male protagonist who seems to spend all his time at the gym because he's built. He will fall in love with the female protagonist because that's what is expected of the genre and because he's clearly got no one better to fall in love with. In this genre, insecure boring females are the Queens!

3) Male protagonist should be perfect and flawless with- this is VERY IMPORTANT!- an endless amount of patience to have nothing better than to listen to the female protagonist whine constantly. Why is this important? Because that's what your targeted demography (i.e. 13-50 year old women) wants. They are not there to read about a flawed male protagonist- that's what boyfriends and husbands are for!

4) Make your male protagonist a supernatural being. Like a vampire. Or an angel. Or a werewolf. Bitches love supernatural beings. Even if said being is a 110 years old trapped in a teenager's body. It is not considered as pedophilia.

5) Create ANOTHER male protagonist! This guy will most likely have been a friend of the female protagonist since the beginning of time and is usually (gasp!) secretly in love with her. He's got to be a nice guy and a perfectly legitimate choice for a girl to fall in love with; yet in the end, he will get kicked in the nuts because he's not bad-ass like the main male protagonist.

6) Now create a love triangle between the female protagonist and the two male protagonists- even though the reader ALREADY knows that the girl is going to choose the supernatural bad-ass perfectly muscular male protagonist. Because pointless love triangles with predictable outcomes are a MUST and completely unclichéd, trust me! No requirements necessary to make it interesting.

7) Spend the next 500 odd pages describing how perfect the male protagonist is. If you're a little more creative, you can add in a little plot to make it seem "exciting". NOT a must!

NOTE: keep a thesaurus with you at all times when writing scenes involving the male protagonist so that you never run out of adjectives to describe how perfect he is. 

8) Don't stop at one book. Create a trilogy. Better than a trilogy, make it a quadrilogy (that's four in a series). And your fourth book should be very big- because in case the books are adapted into films, the final book can be split into two films even though it's highly unnecessary but will be done in "the name of the fans who are clamouring for more". 

9) Give your books mysterious and obscure titles, preferably after times of the day, like 'Morning', 'Afternoon', 'Evening' and 'Night'. The titles don't have to make sense. 

10) Watch as the books become best-sellers and tarnish the good of literature as we know it, while the film adaptations win all the MTV Movie Awards each year. 

NOTE: if you can- by some miracle!- make your books appear to be "metaphors" for abstinence, then you'll seem a little more credible as an author to the oblivious fans. The intelligent ones will see through the facade immediately, however.